yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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