Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
