I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
my phone needs a breathalizer
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
