I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
