have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
