i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
The Olympian is in my bed
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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