remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
