It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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