i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
