Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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