Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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