did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
