so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
