fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Every concussion has its silver lining
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
