were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
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