look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
