just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Randomize
