Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
