dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
