i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
