I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
