Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
It's just like the Real World with babies
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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