Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Randomize
