i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
