My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
