Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
