All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
