Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Randomize
