Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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