Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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