he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
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