I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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