the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
There r osticjed everywhere
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
