And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
