If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
