Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
