was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
