do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Randomize
