Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
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