help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
