So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Sober January is a disaster.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Randomize
