hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
