My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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