you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
