I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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