I just cut my nipple shaving
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
