I look better un-naked...
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
is it fun? or sober?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
