Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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