I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
