No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
