she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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