I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
