So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize