he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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