Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
