Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
