hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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