Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
