If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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