i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
